Joshua Jimenez, (1991-2021)

On December 23, 2021, my son, Josh, took his own life by jumping in front of a train in Pecos, Texas.  He was on his way home from California, where he had been dabbing Delta-8 and -9 THC. 

Joshua left our home in Texas after dabbing marijuana for the full month of December.  He decided to pack his suitcase, call an Uber, and leave.  Later that evening, he took a selfie at the airport and posted it to Twitter.  We knew he was headed to Los Angeles.  Each time he had been in psychosis, his voices told him to go to LA.  This time he said, “God sent me there [LA] to save the people.” 

The first night in LA, he stayed in a hostel. The second day he had no money. I thought about letting him hit rock bottom, by not sending him money.  That idea didn’t last long.  After praying for his safety, I knew I had to bring him home quickly.  Tough love doesn’t work for  in a state of psychosis. 

We live in Houston, so if he were to lose his phone or something were to happen to him, it would be impossible to find him in LA.  He went from grandiose delusions and sounding arrogant to later sounding confused as to why “God sent me there.”  When he was in psychosis, he would speak of Greek, Egyptian, or Mayan gods and demons.  We finally got him on a bus home two days later. 

I stayed in contact with him, telling him I loved him and just wanted him home safe.  He got off the bus in Pecos, Texas and had a plan to jump in front of a bus. After his phone shattered, he called from an unknown number, which belonged to a pediatrician who was on his day off from a refugee camp in Pecos.  This amazing doctor called an ambulance to put Josh on a mental health hold after observing and talking with him.  Josh told the pediatrician he wanted to jump in front of a train.

Paramedics and police showed up.  Josh showed no confusion and answered every question correctly, according to them.  He managed to fool two officers and a paramedic. So, they let him go. Shortly afterward, he followed through with his plan.  My 22-year-old son stepped out in front of a train while on marijuana and ended his own life. Every time I hear a train, I am triggered and the pain starts again.  I will never again hold my beautiful son, hear his laughter, or talk to him.