Ethan Andrew

I am a 23-year-old who is recovering from Cannabis-Induced Psychosis.  Being an anxious kid, I used marijuana to soothe my emotions and escape reality.  My “green” habit turned recreational, dabbing about 99% THC to fulfill my stoner needs.  I skipped school to smoke, drove while under the influence, stole money to feed my addiction, and thought nothing was wrong with it.  My life began to unravel and expose the severe side effects of high-potency cannabis.

At age 18, I had a cannabis-induced psychotic episode. I had intense vivid dreams, persecutory delusions, and occasional visual hallucinations.  One memorable hallucination was driving home seeing a red balloon in my rear view mirror, which later that night led me to find this same nonexistent balloon in my boxers at 2 a.m. during the winter.

My thoughts were incoherent and didn’t even feel like my own.  I lost my job because the voices in my head distracted me.  My suicidal ideation increased.  I wondered if I would ever return to normal and if my brain would ever rebound.  In a crucial period of brain development, I made the decision to alter my brain chemistry and potentially permanently alter my mind and memory.  I’m now living with the repercussions.

I became an expert in cannabis-induced psychosis and marijuana’s effects on the adolescent brain.  I was hospitalized for a suicide attempt because I was so worried about developing schizophrenia after experiencing a psychotic episode caused by marijuana.  Later, I tried everything in my power to prove to myself that my brain was okay.  I took an official IQ test and a brain MRI.  The tests said that I was fine.

With sustained abstinence and insight, I rediscovered my old self again.  I have left my addiction in the past and am clean now.  It has been over five years since that incident, but the pain still lives inside me.  Despite living with the possibility of never being able to reach my brain’s full potential because of my past drug abuse, I’m doing everything in my power now to correct my course.  I’m back in school, working a full-time job, and taking care of myself, which are things that would be impossible to maintain if I were still using.